A couple of months ago, I gifted myself a two-week personal retreat. After a year of constant movement, filled with both personal milestones and professional momentum, I decided it was time for me to slow down and reset in true alignment with myself.

After all, I had just facilitated this very experience for our Soul Sisters Retreats community, encouraging others to pause, nourish and reconnect—so how could I not offer something so essential to myself.

What I was truly craving was a slower pace, with the hopes of being able to indulge and be fully present in each moment of my day. I made sure that every part of me would be cared for—physical, emotional, and soulful nourishment through good food, long walks, reading, writing, unhurried conversations with my kids, friends, and family, time to do nothing at all, and of course, sleep!

These simple pleasures became sacred as I savored the time spent for each.

But as the first week of my retreat gave way to the second, my old internal narrative about productivity—the classic productivity trap—began to surface and the guilt slowly crept in. “What was I actually doing? Was I doing enough? What did I have to show for my time?”

But wait, wasn’t part of the reason for the retreat to slow down and engage in all the things that I hadn’t had time for over the last year? Long walks in the morning with a stop at my favorite coffee shop for my morning coffee, reading the books that had been piling up on my nightstand, taking time to cook delicious and nourishing meals for myself and my family, reconnecting with friends…

Yet, I had gotten so used to the non-stop beat of my life that I actually felt something was wrong with me! That old narrative was very revealing—despite consciously choosing to slow down and reset with intention, particularly for the purpose of greater focus and alignment, my unconscious and socially-dictated programming around productivity was still showing up strong!

And then, by divine timing as I casually scrolled social media, I came a across this quote that made me stop dead in my tracks and brought me back to one of the main reasons I so badly wanted a reset.

Photo credit: @navalsarchive

I could clearly see the distinction between the lion and the cow. A lion lays low, attuned to it’s surroundings, and gathers it’s energy to strike with precision, versus the cow who stands, endlessly chewing, consuming, and regurgitating the same cud all day—I didn’t want to be the cow!

This was all I needed to remind myself that intention, focus and clarity are much more valuable than constant busyness or the look of productivity.

I didn’t take this retreat just for indulgence. What I deeply desired was a reconnection to myself—my energy, my creativity. I wanted to tap back into the fire, focus, and purpose that first led me to the path of Life Coaching in the first place.

And what I needed most was to step away from the busyness of so-called productivity, so I could reset my focus and reconnect with what truly mattered.

As I slowly emerged from the sacred container of my retreat, I felt renewed and grateful:

Grateful for the slow-down.

Grateful for the physical nourishment

Grateful for renewed clarity and focus.

Grateful for the expansion of creativity and energy.

And most of all, grateful to have experienced the power and magic of the pause that I was so craving.

If you’re feeling caught in the productivity trap, I hope this story inspires you to claim your own pause.