What I Know Is NOT True
It’s interesting what we accept as truths in our lives.
We repeatedly hear things and consider them to be true.
We take others’ opinions as our own truths.
We adopt social or cultural norms as truths.
We believe what we see, hear, or read in media as truth.
Have you ever found yourself thinking: I’m not enough, I’m not ready, I’ve missed my opportunity, without ever questioning the truths behind these thoughts?
And are these so-called truths really worth living by?
This is exactly what happens when you journey on the path of self-discovery and development. Whether it’s within a coaching relationship or other endeavors, that journey of transformation reveals core values, life systems, and meaningful purpose.
In working to clarify these life standards, what also rises to the surface is what you can no longer tolerate: so-called truths that you may have unconsciously accepted, or even needed during specific times in your life, that no longer serve you.
There comes a point when you hear one of these phrases, and the lightbulb goes off—that “aha” moment—and you know you can no longer accept these as truth.
Some of these took me years to recognize, and even more years to acknowledge that I could no longer stand behind them. This is my list of not-truths:
This is the BEST (fill in the blank with whatever is trending at the moment)!
What’s the best for another is not necessarily the best for me. This kind of statement is usually opinion and not fact. It should be taken with the understanding that each person is unique, with unique values and goals. And therefore, each person’s needs will be different. I have overhauled my diet, routines, and goals way too many times because I followed what was declared to be the best, only to discover that it wasn’t the best for me. Do your own research, give things a try, and then decide what actually is the best for you.
I need to fix myself.
Do not confuse behavior with identity. If there is something that you are unhappy with in your life, it is the result of a thought or a habit. It is not a reflection of who you inherently are. You are not something broken to be fixed. Yes, you can change your thoughts, mindset, and actions, but you? There’s nothing to be fixed here.
It is what it is.
If you know me, you know that I will challenge this phrase every chance I get. There is always something that can be done and things can always change, whether physically or mentally: a thought, a mindset, an action, a habit. I have seen things change, miracles happen, and stories completely rewritten when least expected.
I’ve always done ___ , so I need to continue doing it.
As we evolve, so do our needs. What served us in the past may not be what our life requires today. There’s a particular comfort in the familiar, even when it no longer fits. We get comfortable knowing what to expect. But comfort and alignment are not the same thing. It’s incredibly powerful to pause and assess whether your current habits are actually aligned with your values, desires, and the life you are building.
It’s too late.
I’m going to be very blunt here: it’s only too late when you’re dead. It’s not too late, it doesn’t need to be perfect, and there is no “right” time. There is only now.
This is my list of not-truths. I share them not because they’re universal, but because the process of identifying your own list is one of the most liberating and empowering things you can do.
What are the not-truths you’ve been carrying? The ones you inherited, absorbed, or accepted without question that no longer belong in your life?
You don’t have to keep living by what you once believed. That’s not loyalty. That’s staying stuck.
Name them. Question them. And then put them down.
