3 Life-Changing Experiences That Shifted My Mindset Forever
There are certain experiences in life that shine a light on a simple truth and change your life forever.
Those experiences that you might not fully understand in the moment, but you can feel something significant happening. And then comes that “aha” moment where you see the world a little more clearly. I know this may sound a bit esoteric, but stay with me.
Most things in life are pretty simple, but as the complex humans that we are, we tend to complicate them way more than necessary. These three experiences revealed simple yet profound truths of life. They reshaped the way I live and became foundational mindsets I live by.
1. True Joy Requires Nothing
Over the summer I had the opportunity to visit my nephew who was working at Camp HASC. This camp is not just an ordinary summer camp in upstate New York. Each summer, it's a home to campers with special needs—ages ranging from toddlers to middle-age adults, who have a wide range of mental and physical disabilities.
To be honest, I was hesitant to visit at first. I worried that it would be emotionally overwhelming to see these beautiful humans without the mental and physical blessings I have been so honored to have my entire life. But my nephew's passion and love for this camp made this visit a clear yes.
We place so many demands and expectations on ourselves before we allow joy to enter our lives. By society's narrow definitions of success, well-being, knowledge, and ability, these campers would be labeled as lacking or deficient. But from what I observed that day, they lacked nothing. In fact, they were smiling, dancing, singing, and enjoying the moment with zero hesitation, distraction, or deficiency.
They were thriving and exuding pure joy—joy that didn't need any prerequisites or validations. What I witnessed was an environment of unconditional love for human beings simply for their inherent worth as humans, and the natural prevalence of true joy.
2. Uncertainty is a Constant
For years I believed that I could eliminate uncertainty from my life. I thought that with enough knowledge, clarity, confidence, or simply with the passing of time, I would eventually feel “certain”.
During the years of my husband’s illness and treatments, uncertainty was my constant companion. Despite excellent doctors and mountains of information, no one could tell us what would actually happen for sure. I went to bed each night running through endless scenarios in a vain effort to prepare myself for what tomorrow could bring.
Uncertainty concerning health is unbearable, but it prepared me to embrace the eventual uncertainty of being a widow and single parent.
By the time these new life circumstances were upon me, uncertainty had become more than just a visiting companion—it had moved in and was here to stay! I had absolutely no idea what my life would be like going forward. No matter how hard I tried to plan, control, learn, or understand, I realized there would always be some uncertainty in every tomorrow.
And that's when I understood the essence of uncertainty. Uncertainty isn't a problem to be eliminated—it's a partner to learn from.
So I decided to invite uncertainty into my life and create space for it. Yes, I still learn and plan, but for the sake of my personal growth, not in an effort to control life. Uncertainty in my life became a sacred space for opportunity, expansion, and greater growth.
3. Fear Doesn’t Prevent Death, It Prevents Living
Read that again.
Fear is universal. It’s wired into our brains and our body. We mistakenly assume that if we listen to fear, stay in our comfort zone, and allow it to run our life, we’ll be protected, safe, and happy.
Fear convinces us to stay small and maintain the illusion of control. Fear encourages us to trade vulnerability for the pursuit of perfection. It prefers that we stay in our comfort zones rather than experience anything new or different. Fear tells us that we're not ready, it's not the right time, and that our desires can wait—indefinitely.
Fear tries to keep us safe, but at the extreme cost of experiencing true aliveness.
I can 100% assure you that fear does not prevent death. But it will prevent living.
I allowed fear to dictate my life for many more years than I care to admit. I feared speaking up and pursuing desires. I feared being seen for all of my strengths and weaknesses. I feared trying and failing. But all of these fears didn’t keep me safe, and they definitely didn’t bring me happiness. They only kept me from fully and deeply living.
As with uncertainty, fear wasn’t going to disappear. It became another companion I needed to acknowledge and understand. I had to make peace with fear in order to be able to stand up to it and remind it that it was not going to be in control of my life.
This mindset shift liberated me in ways I never expected. Courage, which is one of my core life values, exists not in the absence of fear, but only when you choose to move forward with fear alongside you. I no longer needed to resist or battle fear. Instead, fear and I had reached an understanding—I acknowledged its existence, and fear took a step back so courage could show up and lead my life.
These three experiences—witnessing unconditional joy, living with uncertainty, and challenging fear—opened my eyes, mind, and heart in ways that I never imagined. They became part of the foundational mindset of my life, as well as guiding pillars of my coaching philosophy.
Our most transformative life lessons are hidden in the experiences we least expect. But please don’t take my experiences and truths as your own! Stay curious, stay open, and live your own life experiences.
And if you feel called to, I’d love to hear about your own life-changing experiences.
